International Man of Mystery
by IceCrystal2
Summary: Fluffy. Deeks and Kensi spark a rather interesting competition...irritating Sam and Callen...stunning Eric and Nell in the process.


Disclaimer: standard. Yada yada, just some harmless fluff really.

"All I'm saying is maybe it's you." Kensi threw over her shoulder to her partner as they joined Sam and Callen in the bull pen.

"Of course it's Deeks… What are we talking about?" Callen fed into the argument between the partners, all the while reading his newspaper as if he wasn't enjoying the display as much as Sam.

"Kensi thinks the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I kiss like a fish." Deeks pointed his finger in Kensi's direction, half way between angry and playful. Callen saw the line the discussion was toeing even though Kensi seemed to miss it when she all but whined her partner's name. Sam caught his eye from across the bull pen and he almost sighed at it being his turn to referee.

"What makes you think that Kens?" Callen put down his newspaper, knowing Deeks would answer before the woman would have a chance.

"Oh I'll tell you! Because she saw me kissing this girl…really fine girl actually…really flexible to, she can do this thing with…" Deeks started to get a dreamy look on his face that prompted Sam to bark his name. "Right…anyway…we got in an argument and Kensi here thinks it's because I'm a horrible kisser based on that, get this, that undercover kiss she planted on me last year!" Deeks motioned toward Callen with both of his arms, clearly knowing he'd be the one to help settle the argument even as he rolled his eyes. Sam caught his eye before they shared a truly knowing look even as Kensi whined.

"What?! I'm just saying, from what I saw it makes sense. I'm just trying to help out my partner! You know what, I'm just gonna but out." Callen almost thought she believed they'd leave her alone that easy, but they all knew it was desperate attempt.

"Aw, come on Kens, you can't just take something like that back. Deeks' sensitive remember." Sam prodded, knowing he was digging in his partner in the process, only adding to his fun.

"I'll have you know I'm an awesome kisser!" Deeks all but yelled, nearly echoing around the bull pen.

"Sure Deeks. Sure." Kensi teased, being given a clear out when Eric whistled from the stair top.

"What you want me to prove it?!" Deeks called out behind them, but the other agents continued to Ops. Callen wanted to believe the man would leave it be, but he knew the second they closed whatever case they were about to be handed that he'd bring it back up.

Sure enough, two days and several dead terrorists later, Callen found himself trying to talk the partners down without it being obvious. Sam seemed to enjoy his inability to negate the fighting this time, but Callen knew if it got much worse he'd help him with 'the children'.

"You know what! Fine! You think you're the best here? Prove it." Kensi finally snapped, the three agents at their desks freezing above their expense reports.

"I smell a trap." Sam chuckled, but Callen knew Kensi and Deeks had just been looking for a way to get away with getting closer without Hetty lecturing them on professional distance.

"Callen." Kensi called, turning her chair to face him, a determined edge to her voice. He blinked a few times before he realized what she was getting at.

"Whoa, Kens leave me out of this!" Callen tried to laugh it off, but he tensed more than he probably should have. She was clearly trying to get back at Deeks for the woman she'd seen him with, but he really wanted no part in this little scheme.

"Come on, Deeks thinks he's the best kisser here. I can't prove that without kissing all of you." Kensi seemed so determined that Sam broke out laughing at his misfortune.

"Flattered Kens…really…but leave me out of this." Callen tried to busy himself with his paperwork to hide his hesitation and embarrassment at such a blatant request from his junior agent.

"You wouldn't Fern. Just admit defeat. Admit I rock and all forgivin'." The laughter in Deeks' voice, absent the expected jealousies, let Callen know he'd seen the senior agent's aversion to this little game. "Besides, not like you're a biased judge and all." Deeks joined Sam in his laughter at their expense, missing the whistle from Eric, though Callen jumped to his feet instantly.

"Please tell me you got something Eric." Callen sighed as he led the now shoving agents into Ops.

"Gotta' case." Eric frowned; looking between the agents before Nell joined him without a word, both holding the tablets they were rarely seen without these days.

"Don't ask. What's up?" Sam continued to chuckle as Hetty made her way in behind them.

"A domestic dispute turned deadly mixed with several high-grade explosives, I'm afraid." Hetty gave Deeks and Kensi a look before she turned the briefing over to the dynamic duo. Callen threw himself into listening to the best of his ability. It wasn't easy with Kensi trying to get Deeks to back down by sliding up to him in front of the man. Callen had to circle the table twice to put Sam between them. Deeks was not fooled for a second apparently as he just gave Kensi a look that said he didn't believe she'd actually do it.

"Find those explosives." Hetty threw over her shoulder as she left Ops. It seemed Kensi knew she wouldn't get another opening when he went to order them to their tasks. Sam stepped to the plasma to look closer at a crime scene photo and Kensi invaded his personal space.

"Kens…" Callen warned, but it seemed her desire to play with Deeks was over-riding her better judgment. When she leaned in any way, Callen turned his head the best he could. It wasn't that Kensi was not attractive, or that he hadn't noticed, but he wasn't capable of thinking about her in that way. He'd often wondered after he found out he'd had a sister, if she would have turned out like Kensi. You could have heard a pin drop in Ops when Kensi finally pulled back from him, frowning the entire time as her lips left his cheek.

"O-kay… Sam." Kensi turned toward the Seal and Callen nearly threw an 'I told you so' sort of look to his partner at having encouraged this.

"Ah, I don't think so Kens. Married remember? Like G said earlier, flattered, but I'm gonna sit this one out." While Sam laughed it off, he knew he'd get an ear full from his partner about the junior agent and her partner's behavior. Callen for his part continued to stare at the crime scene photos on the ops table screen, not wanting to provoke Deeks as he was sure he would if he said anything about what Kensi had just tried to do. He didn't much feel like embarrassing the junior agent more in front of Nell and Eric either so he remained silent. For once Sam gave the pair their marching orders, Ops remaining silent still until they left.

"What the hell Sam?! You didn't see me flagging down for back up or something? Why'd you step out-of-the-way?!" Callen accused him, not able to look at Eric or Nell.

"Aw, come on G, it ain't that big a deal. Quickest way to get the kids back in synch, don't ya think?" The mocking humor in Sam's smile made Callen want to punch the man, something he hardly ever felt like doing in the last five years. It seemed Sam got the message that he'd gone too far when he frowned.

"Um…what just happened here?" Eric finally asked from behind the pair and Callen winced openly before he exited Ops, Sam following him. He stewed as they made their way to the crime scene. He knew Sam didn't mean any harm, but Callen was still livid when they reentered Ops two hours later. Nell informed them that Kensi and Deeks had brought in the next of kin for their couple to the boat shed before the partners even spoke again. Speaking with Sam did a lot to rid Callen of his anger, but it did not dissipate completely. He was able to hide the rest of his anger through the interviews, even crack a joke on the way back to Ops with Sam, but when they were forced to wait for a deal time in the dead of night he grew more and more frustrated with Kensi, Sam, and Deeks. The junior partnership had gone back to arguing, and Sam feeling guilty still for that morning was attempting to play referee. Callen looked around for Hetty in somewhat of a prayer, but when he didn't see her he fled the bull pen. Punching the bag in the gym was a good stress reliever, but he knew when he stopped the problems would still be there. He tried to catch his breath after an hour, wondering if he should ask Sam to join him before he realized he wasn't alone.

"How long you been standing there Nell?" He asked, punching the bag once more to cover his astonishment that she'd snuck up on him.

"A while…you looked like you were thinking about something. Didn't want to bother you." Nell shrugged, her fingers typing away at her tablet before Callen gave up the pretense of continuing his work out.

"You got something?"

"Yeah, I tracked down our buyer. Pretty average, nothing to extraordinary about him, except he has several shell corporations. Sam sent Kensi and Deeks to look at the one he has here in Los Angeles." She didn't miss a beat, one of the things Callen admired about the intelligence analyst some days when the rest of them were running around blind. When she stopped typing, Callen waited for her to continue as he wiped his face in a towel. When she didn't after a second he finally looked up at her.

"Something else Nell?"

"Their playing chicken…this morning…" She fidgeted and Callen tensed, really not wanting to talk about Kensi and Deeks at that minute.

"I know." He settled on, not knowing why she brought it up but he tried to remind himself it was probably just a kind gesture.

"She kissed Eric just now. I thought I'd warn you." Nell shrugged, turning around before Callen could even blink. He wondered if she had a thing for her partner, but she'd given nothing away if she did. It was a second before the humor in what she'd just said caught up to him. Finally feeling better, imagining Eric's face when Kensi undeniably ambushed him did wonders for his mood. As he expected, Eric avoided his eye when he entered Ops a while later, Kensi and Deeks returning from their recon at the same time. When Nell took over the briefing without as much as a word from Eric's direction he couldn't help laughing at the man's misfortune.

"You okay there Eric?" Sam asked, not able to let it go just like Callen. Callen had heard of the spectacle Kensi had made, grabbing Eric by the shirt while she and Deeks made their way out of the bull pen.

"Mmmhmm." He muttered, still not looking at the agents. He was more amused by the tiny smirk on Nell's face than Eric's predictable behavior.

"It amazes me that at the collective age of the inhabitants of this room that you all have digressed so rapidly to the behavior of children." Hetty scolded from the doorway, making everyone jump. "I suggest you settle this childish whimsy before the meet in three hours' time. I would like my agents back, thank you." She continued to scold, leaving without another word. No one moved for a long minute until Kensi punched Deeks' arm.

"Oww! You started this you know! Don't blame me!" Deeks hollered, causing Callen to sigh. He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on.

"To prove a point!" Kensi tried to defend herself. Sam opened his mouth to scold them both but Deeks cut him off.

"You want to prove your damn point, fine! Impartial judge!" He yelled, none of them anticipating what he did next. Nell nearly dropped her tablet as Deeks grabbed the sides of her face and brought his lips down to hers. Silence filled the Ops center once more as the detective leaned away from the intelligence analyst after four seconds. Callen did not know why his heart constricted like it did at the sight. Nell opened her mouth to say something, but it seemed Deeks had rendered her speechless.

"What makes Nell the impartial judge?" Kensi finally asked, her voice not betraying anything but Callen knew Deeks had just hurt her as much as she'd probably hurt him earlier by kissing Eric. He felt bad for the dynamic duo being caught up in this game of theirs, but he also realized he was jealous. That was something he definitely was going to have to think about.

"Because I'm not kissing Hetty," Everyone shivered at the image Deeks stirred up, "…and she's already kissed Eric. That leaves Sam and Callen." He seemed to think he won against Kensi then. Nell didn't seem able to look at either of the agents as a dark blush colored her cheeks.

"Leave us out of this Deeks." Callen finally barked into the silence, leaving Ops with his partner right on his heels. It took an hour for the feuding pair to resurface, and Callen knew he was going to end up shooting one of them when they all but dragged Nell and Eric behind them. He was a little surprised when Nell walked straight up to Sam without the junior agent or her partner saying anything.

"Tell these two you are never going to kiss me and make this end." She demanded of the Ex-Seal easily twice her height though she towered over him in his desk chair. The sheer desperation, mixed with what had to be her best pout only made the man laugh at her. Callen knew Sam respected her for confronting this ridiculous thing the junior agent and partner had dragged her into, but knowing how much Sam was enjoying the distraction he felt conflicted. Sam motioned Nell to move closer to him, which she did without hesitation Callen noted. It was a show of trust that he didn't expect from her, but he smiled when she giggled. Sam kissed Nell's right cheek quickly before he playfully swatted her away. Kensi and Deeks started arguing instantly whether 'It counted' or not and Callen knew that headache wasn't going to go away.

"That just leaves Callen." Deeks finally threw back at Kensi when they'd declared that it counted because Sam was married. Callen thought about making up a fake girlfriend for a split second but knew he wouldn't get away with it. When the two partners started bickering once more, Callen felt his patience snap.

"For the love of…" Callen growled, throwing his pencil across his desk while he stood. He crossed the four steps between him and Nell before looking her straight in the eyes. Putting his hand around her left hip Callen put his right hand on her cheek, fully intending on kissing her.

"You okay with this Nell?" He asked, not ever wanting to force something like this on anyone, Nell especially for some reason he didn't know. When she gave him a little nod Callen pulled her more firmly against him before kissing her. The electric shock that spread through his system nearly had him stumbling away from her. It seemed to spread straight from her soft lips through his heart, down even to his toes. Confused but suddenly adrenaline filled, Callen tried focusing on Nell instead of what she was suddenly making him feel. He tested how far she'd let him take this by pressing his lips to hers a little more firmly. When she welcomed the attention, kissing back harder Callen knew he was lost. Kissing Nell had never even crossed his mind until that moment, but it seemed now he couldn't think of anything else to do in the entire world. She wound her arms around his neck and he suddenly forgot completely that they weren't alone, or why he was even kissing her. It seemed they were on the same page when Nell leaned against him, his grip on her tightening without meaning to.

"Damn G." Sam's voice called, breaking through the fog of Nell sharply. Not wanting to embarrass or end their kiss abruptly Callen pulled away from Nell slowly, instantly missing her in his arms. He noticed her eyes had closed, not even thinking about how his had done the same. Placing one last gentle kiss on her lips he took a step back. He smiled, as she blinked, clearly thrown as much as he was. Callen thought a second on how he was simply better at hiding it.

"Everybody happy now?" Eric asked sarcastically, a bite in his tone.

"Who won Nell?" Sam finally asked after a minute, laughing the second she just blinked in his direction.

"International Man of Mystery for the win." Nell smirked, knowing it would get Deeks talking. Callen sat back down at his desk, strategically looking at the junior agent instead of Nell or his partner.

"Like Eric said, everybody good now? Because I can think of an arms deal going down in an hour that could use some attention." He knew he didn't pull off the scolding tone in his voice, but as he expected Kensi took the first opportunity to drop the entire thing in embarrassment. Deeks made a comment about how Nell's description fit all four men that had kissed her, and Callen suspected she'd formulated her answer for that precise reason.


End file.
